Beach Day!
Put aside the chores and make the memories now! Northern California’s coastline is ruggedly beautiful and perfect for exploring, especially as children get older.
Last week was Spring Break and like almost every school break and weekend, it went by in a flash. My two older children are back in school this week and Alako is performing in his school play! I am so excited to see it. But having them back in school is bittersweet, because I need the break from at least some of my children in order to get things done, but I always wish I had more time to spend having fun with them. Like many other parents, my life is a constant cycle of driving, food prep, housework, errands, as well as my outside-the-house job, with a bit of sleep and personal hygiene on the side. And I do those things because they are necessary to sustain my family, but they aren’t the wondrous adventures I want to be taking with them. And while one cannot deny the infinite magic of completed laundry, I doubt any of my children would go to great lengths to espouse the virtues and profound experiential joy of carefully folded underwear. No, I’m certain they would trade every paired sock for the time we spend belting musicals together in the car on our way to our chosen destination. As would I. And then I would come home and complete the chore later, because who are we kidding?
With three children ranging in age from four to eleven, I am always looking for activities we all can enjoy during school breaks. By “all,” I do mean to include myself, meaning we have to find something to do or somewhere to be that doesn’t involve me constantly running in three different directions. It is for exactly that reason I like to choose nature as our destination. As you might have guessed, my children are often inclined to run in several directions at once, and wide, open spaces allow them to do so, while also allowing me to breathe . Because believe me, it is not easy to breathe when your children are energetic and fearless extroverts. For that reason, I used to put pressure on myself to make the absolute most of school breaks, probably because I feel guilty that the introvert in me never wants to plan a trip ahead of time. But then I’m reminded of a fellow Waldorf mama friend who, when asked if she’d planned anything for her kids to do over the break, calmly and unapologetically replied, “nope,” because she likes her time to unfold organically. I really appreciate her approach because it shifted my perspective on how we “should” be using our time, and it allowed me to release the pressure I was putting on myself to achieve an intangible parenting goal.
When the kids were younger, outings were much harder. Between the baby pack or stroller, the extra clothing, the snacks, the water bottles, the pre-ride potty break, the sunscreen, the toys for the car, the diapers, the baby wipes, the “timing it perfectly between snack time and nap time only to have one fall asleep on the way,” and the arrival potty break, I was over it before we even began. Add to that my water and cliff-related anxieties regarding my small children, and this mama was not having a nice time. I remember going to the beach and just feeling stressed. In my defense, our coast is not known for being particularly friendly. Unlike the inviting waves of southern of California, the northern California coastline is rugged, cold, and romantically sinister. There are steep cliffs, sneaker waves, riptides, and great white sharks. Unless you are a surfer, and there are many, our coast is not really somewhere to go swimming with the family, unless you are a family of particularly brave, or foolhardy seals. Not wanting to become acquainted with shark or sneaker wave, I try to keep my family contained to the sandy part of the beach, which is much easier said than done with anyone under four years old.
But this spring break, our trip to the coast was a different experience for me. Unlike any of our previous beach excursions, I was now in the company of three relatively reasonable, mid-sized humans who belong to me, as well as a delightful fellow who is a friend of my oldest son. No one is apt to entirely disregard my rules, however mutinously those rules are initially discussed. No one requires an inordinate amount of gear. I am no longer required to set up a beach tent one-handed in the wind while holding a breastfeeding baby in the other arm. In fact, we have finally reached the point in life where I encourage them to bring all the buckets and shovels they may need to the beach, which stands in sharp contrast to the many years I have spent arguing with small people about how many toys is too many to bring on any particular errand. Probably because I know that I won’t be the only one carrying everything back to the car anymore! Everyone was willing to carry their own gear and backpack, although Gryffin did abandon his shoes on the trail on the way from the parking lot to the beach. Luckily, the big boys noticed and picked them up.
The day was perfectly clear but very windy. Our coast tends to be on the chilly side, but Ailey was not going to be deterred from rocking her new yellow bikini. She actually tricked me because there when she told me she was wearing that suit under her clothes I assumed it was the other, long-sleeved top that matches. I really don’t mind that she wears what she wants to wear, but she looked so chilly it was making me chilly! She did not seem to mind and spent most of the day running between the waves and blanket. The boys dragged over some driftwood but there wasn’t enough to build a fort or structure, which is my favorite thing to do at the beach, so we just created a semi-circle around the holes they were digging and I used the driftwood as a tripod for beach selfies. I know it sound silly but as mamas we are rarely in the pictures because we are busy taking pictures of everyone else, so I always try to take at least one picture with me in it, just to prove I was there too! Gryffin ran away to play in the dunes, his little head bobbing just above the beach grass. The sunlight sparkled golden on the wet sand. Alako found a long, pointy shark tooth, cream and rust-colored. I watched two brown pelicans dip in unison and lift back into the air just along the line where the water laps the sand. Someone was flying a rainbow kite nearby. For the first time in many years, I was actually able to relax and breathe, knowing they were all safely exploring the beautiful natural world in their own way, on their own time.
Eventually, Gryffin and Ailey ran back and needed to be wrapped in all the warm things we had to protect them from the wind and sand. The older boys would have stayed all night if I let them, so in order to give everyone the time they needed to part with the majestic ocean, I settled Ailey and Gryffin comfortably in the car and made several extra trips transporting items back from our beach blanket. Finally, it was time to make our way home and no one complained! We all left feeling content and we even stopped at our local ice cream shop on the way home. There was zero pressure to be anywhere at any particular time and once again I felt thankful that I have people in my life who inspire me to move at my own pace. The entire experience also made me feel so relieved that we have made it through the newborn, baby, and toddler phases of childhood in our household. That we can decide to take an outing like we did and make it happen with minimal effort. That we have reached the stage in our lives when outings are truly fun for all of us, because it isn’t just me surrounded by my own pack of wild and rebellious offspring. Wait a second. Who am I kidding? It is totally still that. It just means I have people to help me carry things now.
