A Treatise on Twins
You know the old adage, “Be careful what you wish for,”? Well, I have first-hand knowledge that this is totally true. Now, I want to be super clear here, I adore my daughters, and would not trade my motherhood situation for anything. But, let me tell you, having twins was definitely not planned, and a complete and total surprise. We had decided to take a chance and try for the long and desperately wanted girl. Trav was more than a little worried about the whole plan, telling me that if we weren’t successful in the girl department, he wasn’t sure I would survive it. And at eight weeks, he received what he thought was the phone call he had been dreading. As he answered, I sobbed uncontrollably into the phone. He didn’t know what to do but braced himself for what he thought was going to be a difficult conversation. But, that wasn’t why I was crying. We finally had our little girl. I was finally going to be able to share my femininity with my one daughter. Finally, be able to share what I missed out on with my own mother. I could not have been more excited.
Typically, in the first trimesters of my pregnancies, I experienced an uncomfortable level of morning sickness, such that eating was pretty unappealing, but I could always eventually stomach something. This time around, there was nothing that appealed, nothing that sat well, and nothing that felt good. I had to force a piece of toast or some applesauce down each day just to keep some calories in my body. I lost ten pounds over the course of those first few weeks! And to top that off, I was EXHAUSTED. I’m sure part of it was that I couldn’t eat and was running after an 18 month old on a daily basis but, even with all of those extenuating circumstances, it still felt like I was dragging my body from one spot to the next. And, of course, we chose this exact time to buy a brand-new house and move across the country.
We hauled ourselves back across Idaho, and Nevada and into our previous home state and started the daunting task of packing up the entire house to bring it back to our brand-new home. Amid that, I went to my very first OB appointment for this pregnancy. It was in the thick of Covid so Trav couldn’t go with me and it was very early in the morning, so I was by myself when my doctor proudly announced that it was not one but two babies. And suddenly my symptoms all made sense. There were two babies, twins. Oh. My. Gosh. She was so excited, and I was so overwhelmed. She pushed me to FaceTime Trav and that was a bit of a disaster too. This was certainly never anything we expected or planned. How were we going to do it?
After two separate panic attacks, Trav and I girded our loins and began planning for the unexpected development. I’m a researcher and planner so, I knew that I had to immediately start learning about twins and how different this new infant journey would be for us. I did research into all of the best twin gear. We bought two mini cribs and several more car seats. I found a twin stroller and carrier on Facebook Marketplace. I researched all the strategies and techniques for tandem breastfeeding. One of the first problems I needed to figure out was how to get them to sleep at the same time, especially at night. I was drowning in panic about them tag teaming their sleep over the course of the night. Our eldest had been such a poor sleeper and I couldn’t imagine how I would cope if the girls were built of the same stuff. I researched it to death and made a sort of plan. (Of course, knowing that nothing with children ever really goes to plan. Ha!) And continued the process with each concern I had until I felt like as much of an expert as I could be.
Every person we told we were having twins would always ask us where the twins came from. Were there twins in our family? Now, to be fair there are a set of fraternal twins on both sides of the family but neither set were biologically related to either Trav or I. It was a complete accident and total mystery to me. So, I had found my next research topic. I had to figure out where these two bundles of joy had come from. And oh boy did I discover whole bunch of information. The probability of having spontaneous, meaning not through fertility treatments, twins is roughly 1 in 250, pretty darn unlikely. BUT, there are things that make the tendency of fraternal twins more common. Fraternal twins are caused by a condition called Hyperovulation, meaning that instead of dropping just one egg a month there are two (or more in the case of higher multiples) dropped to be potentially fertilized and produce twins. As a woman gets older and her systems begins to experience hormonal changes, the likelihood of abnormal reproductive things to happen, including hyperovluation. Other kind of random and kind of funny factors that contribute to the possibility include height, diet, BMI, ancestry, and having previous births. As a woman over 35, who is on the taller side, is a vegetarian with a diet that includes a high amount of dairy, who is of European descent and has had previous births, my potential for twins was much higher than I had ever assumed. Despite not having any genetic proclivity for my girls, I had a good amount of the other possible factors involved. What a trip to discover.
My girls are fraternal as fraternal can be but, when I was pregnant with them, my fear was they would be identical, and I would not be able to tell them apart. Then they were born and instantly I knew I would have no problem. For those who don’t have twins, there are two types of twins, identical and fraternal, but it is so much more than that. As a twin mom, I now feel like a bit of an expert on the differences and stages of twins, or twin zygosity (the genetic relationship between twins). My girls are di/di twins or diamniotic and dizygotic twins. This means that when they were growing both had their own amniotic sacs and their own placentas that they were receiving their nutrients through. Di/di twins can be either fraternal or identical depending on whether it was two eggs dropped or of the single egg split into two within the first to third day of growth post fertilization. There is very little way to tell which type of di/di twins they are in utero if they are same sex twins. The next type is mo/di twins. These twins are monoamniotic, dizygotic twins, meaning they each have their own sac but share their placenta. These twins are always identical, being the product of an egg that split between the fourth and seventh day. They have been growing long enough that it isn’t possible for another placenta to grow but not long enough that they can’t have their own sac. The third type, which is also identical, is mo/mo, monoamniotic and monozygotic. You can probably guess that this means they share both sac and placenta and, you would be right. These are an egg that split between eight to ten days after conception and are the type of twins that carry the highest risk with the possibility of tangled umbilical cords and twin to twin transfusion syndrome. And then there are more rare and unusual twins! Genetics are such a funny thing!
Never in a million years would I have guessed that I was destined to become a twin mom. It is certainly no easy thing, there are days when the overwhelm is so much I don’t feel like I’ll survive. But then I think about how they are going to be blessed with a compatriot, a buddy and teammate for the rest of their lives, and I am so grateful for our special situation. And, yes, everyone tells me I have my hands full every time I go anywhere or tell anyone about them, and I certainly do but it the most fun, beautiful, crazy chaos and most of the time I just feel so blessed that I get to have not one, but two sweet little girls to cuddle and kiss and snuggle and watch grow up the best of friends.
